Wellness, Self-Care, Vanity

Hot (and likely super-unoriginal) take: most of the time we see the terms “wellness” or “self-care”, what’s actually being promoted is vanity.

A little vanity is fine — let’s face it, that’s why most of us are on social media in 2026 — but please, can we just call it what it is?!

Classical Music is finally wising up about the need for “wellness”, but what does that actually mean? When a wellness-conscious classical musician (e.g. me) encourages “self-care”, what does that entail? When I’m just being a vain-ass ding-dong, what does that look like? Everyone’s Venn Diagram will look slightly different, obviously, but in case you’re curious (you probably aren’t), here are some of my personal examples from each of the three categories:

Wellness:

• sleeping enough (which I love and cherish)

• drinking loads of water (which I loathe and dread)

• stimulating my brain in analog ways: reading, creative brainstorming, writing letters

• getting outside often, for peaceful time in nature and doses of vitamin D

• tuning in to my body and making/eating the foods that I know will feel most nourishing

• moving my body: yoga classes, long walks, stretching before playing the violin

• being a contributing member of society: offering help where needed, attempting to make the world just a little better through my ideas, words, and actions

• therapy when needed

• connecting meaningfully with the people I love

Self-Care:

• scheduling windows of time throughout the year to rest and refill the proverbial cup

• hot baths

• hot yoga

• sauna sessions when possible (can you tell sweating is my love language!?)

• meditation

• exfoliating/moisturizing with drugstore products (e.g. Korean scrubby mittens, Vaseline, sesame oil — all better than anything pricey in my opinion)

• occasional bodywork that keeps the ol’ machine running smoothly (e.g. deep tissue massages)

• spontaneous dance parties, usually in the kitchen

• chatting with friends over coffee or wine

• coffee

• wine

• silence (hard to come by, as the mother of a rambunctious and goofy 4-year-old)

Vanity, a.k.a. Social Media’s Version of Self-Care

• expensive skincare products

• expensive machinery that promises age reversal

• bragging about eating ~12,000g of protein. Please can everyone just cool it with the protein. If you eat normal human food you are probably getting plenty of protein.

• collagen anything

• the majority of supplements

• 357-step routines

• new professional photos like this one… but wait, this also belongs in the other columns because a day with photographer Frances Marshall is like therapy, a dance party, the most flattering glam in the world, and most importantly feeling like the most empowered, badass version of myself!

My moral of the story: wellness is as simple as feeling, well… well! Self-care (ideally low- or even no-cost) is anything you do to kickstart, enhance, or indulge that feeling of wellness. Vanity isn’t always but certainly can feel performative, obsessive, and/or expensive, and can actually leave us feeling depleted in terms of spirit, finances, and time. And again, a little vanity is okay, of course: we should all WANT to love how we look, and how we portray ourselves to the wider world!

If I’m feeling a bit tangled, stressed, or run-down, I like to go back to a question that one of my YTT teachers often asked at the start of our daily meditation practice: “Dear heart, what is it you need at this moment?” Is it a walk? A hug? A nap? Or is it really and truly something that Instagram is trying to sell you?